How these conversations with God happened.

One day a few years ago, an overwhelming sadness kicked down the front door of my life. It came right in and made itself at home. A sadness, as it turns out, that I myself had invited to visit.

When I saw it outside I barred the door and shouted at it to go away, but it took no notice. Down came the door, in came the sadness. Even though my mistakes had created it, the overwhelming sadness took no notice of me. I screamed at it to go away but it wouldn’t. It seemed to have no interest in my thoughts at all. My thoughts had brought it, but they no longer counted. I had lost all control. I was, as the Good Book says, undone.

Nothing I knew was the same anymore. I had no option that horrible day. I threw pride to the wind and screamed out to God. What else could I do? I was terrified. My life was collapsing like a house of cards on to the floor. My dreams, everything I had lived for, was sliding into a huge hole.

God came around, sat me down and started talking.
I couldn’t believe it. On one hand I had this overwhelming sadness threatening to destroy me. On the other I had God, speaking words I could understand. I could hear him clear as a bell. He just kept talking. His words came thick and fast. I had to write them down to keep up. Both, the overwhelming sadness and God speaking, were so far outside my experience of reality that I was in shock. I thought, hoped, that I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. But no. I have woken up every morning since then, and both are still here.

When God first started speaking that day I was stunned. It was the last thing I had expected. He had so much to say. More probably than I’d heard him say in my whole life until then. He talked all day and into the night. If it had been someone else’s story I would have thought they were mad. God doesn’t just chat like a friend.

We all know that. But he did. If it was someone else we were talking about, I would have said, as the medical experts will, that this is not reality, but just a known medical phenomena. Akin to temporary madness. He’s ‘hearing God’ because he’s gone into emotional shock.

I am a bit like those medical experts. A cynic. Something I’m learning to change. But I’ve still got a long way to go. And even in the midst of this overwhelming sadness, I was still cynical enough to think ‘this can’t be God’. I was determined that, no matter how bad things got, I was not going to go mad. Somehow I was going to beat this. But God kept telling me I couldn’t beat it, couldn’t find a way through, but he could. And if I listened he’d tell me about it.

One day, Mark realised he could speak directly with The Man Upstairs, now you can too.
Follow Mark’s incredible journey and learn how you can speak with God (and hear him speak back!)

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