Trick Question: Where are you most likely to find God — Church or Maccers?

DANGEROUS QUESTION # 5

Is that even a question, God?

Yes it’s a question, it’s critical, and it has to do with one of man’s core desires.

What, finding God at Maccers?

No, finding me, period. Where a man finds me is of no importance – that he finds me is the key. 

Ok, you said finding you is one of man’s core desires, what are the others?

Food, shelter, love, success.

And I’m guessing that finding you is the most important of all, right? 

Yes, but let’s not get too religious about this.

Meaning what?

Meaning that the others, food, shelter, love and success are critical for a balanced and fulfilled life.

Ok?

But, yes, you’re right that finding me is important; everyone is either looking for me or convincing themselves there is no me to look for. 

And?

And in case you’re wondering I don’t favour either approach, I just favour mankind. Period.

Ok, but about MacDonalds and Church, you asked where I thought you were more likely to be found.

And?

Well, you’re cunning, I’ll give you that, God.

Why so?

Well, look, it’d be two years since I was even in a MacDonalds, and that was under protest, but your question, ‘is God more likely to be found at Church or Maccers?’ is a tough one. If the options were Church or spending time with your family, the answer would be obvious. And Church or the office, the answer to that would be equally obvious.

But not Church or Maccers?

No, not really.

Why not?

No, that’s not fair, God, why don’t you tell me why you’re asking the question. Whatever my answer I’m going to be in trouble with somebody. So, I’d rather you answered your own question.

Ok, well first let’s just get this straight, this isn’t a church-bashing discussion. There’s no doubt that people find me in Church. Hundreds of thousands do. But have you ever wondered why?

Yes. No. I don’t know. That’s another highly political question, any answer will get you into trouble. 

I’m always in trouble with someone. It goes with the job.

I didn’t mean ‘you’ you, God. I meant whoever answers that question will be in trouble whatever they say.

I knew what you meant, I was just making a point.

Umm, ok, so…?

Why do you think people find me in church 

I don’t know? Because they look for you there?

Yes! Of course. Why do you think they look for me there?

Because they know to look for you there?

Yes again. How do they know to look for me in church?

Because that’s what the whole church thing is about. Everyone gets told that Church is where you find God.

And?

And so of course that’s where you go to find God and what you tend to do when you’re there. Church is a God place.

But not Maccers?

Well, no, not per se. Maccers doesn’t advertise themselves as a place to find you.

But if they did? 

Well, I suppose there’d be, eventually, quite a number of people who looked for you there?

And?

And they’d find you there, I guess. Where we look for you is where we find you, right?

Yes. At last!

At last what? People will find you at Maccers?

Well, yes, but no, this is not about that. I mean that at last you are beginning to realise the dynamic to finding me.

Ok, tell me what it is? What is the dynamic to finding you??

You just told me. Where you look for me is where you find me. You are no more likely to find me in either place, Church or MacDonalds…

That ought to go down well, God.

Church or Maccers was a trick question, I wanted to demonstrate a point, neither place is any more important than the other, where you look for me isn’t the point. It never has been and never will be. The point is that if you look for me you will find me – wherever you look, and it’s a pity if you make yourself wait till Sunday. Even the pastors agree with that. 

Why mention the pastors?

They know that it says, ‘He did this so that every person would long for God, feel their way to him,[a] and find him—for he is the God who is easy to discover!’ Or ‘So we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him’. And some of them even know something else, not all of them, but the smart ones do. They know that neither of those passages makes any mention of where one should look for me. They know it doesn’t matter where, or which day of the week you do it…

Nice.

Agreed. Particularly nice when people accept the invitation and begin to look for me. I’m right there between the Big Mac and the Fries, or between the third fast song and the first slow one. Or wherever else you choose to look. Take your pick. I’m on every menu, in whichever ‘restaurant’ you choose. The place has nothing to do with it, it’s the seeking that leads to the finding.