No Strings Attached

God, I’m on the Picton Ferry, off to Wellington, kicking back. The first day of a four day motorcycle trip, meeting up with mates on the road. Such a great feeling, such a wonderful time to ride the Kaikoura coast, the sun bright on the sea.

Good mates.

I reckon! Can’t wait to see them. I think I chose my mates well.

Actually, it was me who chose… chose them for you, suggested them, brought your paths together, I knew you’d compliment each other’s pictures.

Well, I’m bloody glad you did, and you’re so right, they are good mates. The best really. It makes me shake my head though, God…

Why?

You know my thoughts!

I do, but it’s nice to hear you give them voice.

Ok, well, I shake my head in disbelief, actually that’s not quite right, I do believe it, I’ve seen it over and over again for fifty-plus years, but I’m still dumfounded at how stupid some of our Christian ideas are. No wonder normal people think we’ve lost our minds.

Elaborate…

Ok, that ridiculous part of Christian Culture that discourages us from having friends who don’t share our faith. Actually ‘ridiculous’ doesn’t do it justice, it’s worse than that, it tears people apart, it’s evil — it breaks up life long friendships.

I thought you didn’t think of yourself as a Christian?

I don’t! Well, put it this way, I’d rather not be associated with them because normal Christian behaviour is so bloody embarrassing — but, obviously, I believe in the same God. To be honest, a lot of the time I wish I didn’t.

I mean, look at this rubbish we’re talking about — we get told to give up friends who don’t share our beliefs, good grief, it’s the polar opposite of your thing about God being love!!

Explain.

Well, look, really?? Give up your friends because they don’t agree with you, unless of course it’s to try and convert the poor buggers! Christians, me included, have made a mockery of this idea that you are love — instead we’ve invented habits that are the very opposite of it. We’re constantly doing things that push people away from you.

Push people away?

Well, don’t you agree? I think we’re being the opposite of love, certainly the opposite of how you lived your life if we reject our friends and only hang about with other Christians.

Of course I agree.

Good, because we get told to beware of people who have loved and supported us for years because they might lead us astray, I mean really?? And all because they don’t believe what we do. It’s, well, it’s evil, is what I think.

Do you want to hear what I think?

To be honest I’d rather not hear what you think! It’s one thing for me to have a rant about religious Christianity, people just say I’m ‘backslidden’, but to put you in print saying similar things, that makes them genuinely mad at me.

They dig out that lovely ‘H’ word their forefathers used when they burned someone at the stake or cut them in four pieces. I never actually thought I’d be called a ‘Heretic’, but you’d be amazed at how often that word gets bandied about when I publish these conversations.

Don’t sweat it. It goes with the territory.

Whatever, God! Conversations like this are fine when they’re private, just you and me, better than fine, they’re encouraging, but making them public is embarrassing! People read them and think I’m an arrogant bugger and, let’s face it, who can blame them?

Who is your audience?

For these conversations?

Yes, who are you speaking to?

Anyone who’s dumb enough to try a back forth conversation with you like this.

Dumb enough?

Well, either the man on the street who’s desperate for answers…

And you have the answers??

No, but you do.

With no strings attached?

Well, I don’t think there are any strings attached to talk with you? No need for religious conversion, or joining a church or all the other palaver we’re told is required to talk with the Christian God.

I’m not the Christian’s God, I’m everyone’s God.

I wish you wouldn’t say stuff like that.

Why not? If you’re trying to talk to people who want to hear from me but not from the Church, they need to know I’m not all about the Christians, I’m all about everyone. Anyone can talk with me.

Now it’s my turn to ask, no strings attached?

None. You want to talk, let’s talk. On your terms, when and where you want to talk. No rules, no requirements.

Talk about what?

Anything and everything! All of the questions that you’d normally ask yourself — questions about your money, your relationships, your kids, your job, your health, your wishes and desires, absolutely everything and anything!! And, no, no strings whatsoever attached!

HOW TO DO IT WITHOUT BEING RELIGIOUS:

Yes, I have these conversations with God in writing. And, yes, I was dumbfounded when I discovered he’d speak back like that because i’m hardly anyone’s angel. :)

No, I don’t write down my convos with upstairs after I’ve had them. I write them as they happen. First I write my part and then I start to write his answer, I write the first thing that comes into my mind and then of course more comes as I write.

If I think I’m making it up, I write that down as my next comment, I challenge him, “I think I made that up, God”, and then I write what comes in response.

How you talk with him is your business, but this idea has helped tens of thousands to hear him more clearly. So give it a whirl if it appeals.

It also works out loud; speaking your question to him out loud and then speaking out his answer, or thinking both sides of the conversation. I imagine there are myriad ways, the main point is to articulate his answer before and then as it comes, rather than waiting till after it has come and then writing it. And the same goes for speaking it, thinking it singing it etc.

Anyway, that’s how I do it if that’s any help.